Lyrics: Up on the Hoof

A parody by Shelley Goldbeck, (In the style of the Nylons’ Up on the Roof).

Writing parodies is such fun! This one is about the farmer’s shock over the price of meat while his share of the profit dwindles daily.



When cattle prices start crashing down
And bankers are just too much for me to face,
I see prices climbing higher for steak.
The value of my cows just drifts right into space!

On the hoof they’re worthless as can be.
The charge for beef in stores sure bothers me.
Up on the hoof.

When I come home feeling tired and beat
I’d love to sit and dine upon a juicy steak.
I spend every day a-hustling cows
But can’t make a living so I can eat some meat.

I like to think as a farmer I am free.
But darling I’m a slave, as you can see.
I keep telling you

Right smack dab in the middle of drought
There is no paradise that’s trouble proof.
So if cattle prices start coming down
There’s no way to keep my herd up on the hoof

Up on the hoof,
Up on the hoof,
Up on the hoof,
Up on the hoof.


Up on the Roof written by Gerald Goffin and Carole King